Your Boss Doesn’t Care

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Your Boss Doesn’t Care. 

Sorry, hate to be a party pooper here, AND I think it’s important to realise the ugly truth:

If you have been kicking it out of the park at work, and you’re due a promotion or a salary increase, and you have raised this with them a number of times, yet your boss hasn’t followed up…

It’s because they don’t care.

They might say they do. But: “A yes is not a yes without a how”, to quote the indomitable Chris Voss. What Chis means by that, is that if you only get a “yes” on your idea, without any further discussion regarding execution, then the “yes” doesn’t count. They never meant it in the first place, they never intended for the thing to happen.

And even if your boss does engage in a conversation about actual implementation, if then no action still isn’t taken or perpetually gets postponed or new hurdles are invented (“In the next promotion round…” “If XYZ happens, then…”), the same message applies: they don’t care.

Let me repeat: They. Don’t. Care.

It doesn’t serve them to care. Because you are asking them for action, which sometimes is too much to begin with. But really, you’re asking them for a difficult thing. They will lose you – their workhorse – if you get that promotion. Or they will have to go speak upstream to make a salary raise happen – gasp!

So often I see that very fair requests of my WINners to their managers go unanswered / unactioned. And whilst that’s painful, once they realise what is happening, they will refocus their energy on creating opportunities elsewhere. And when they are successful and hand in their notice… all of a sudden, everything they asked for (and sometimes more) is possible… [slaps forehead].

The WINner who was offered a 4% raise when she took on much more responsibility, because there was “absolutely no stretch” in the budget…. Was offered a 25% increase when she announced her departure to a firm where they were willing to pay her fairly.

The WINner who was given the Director title she had reasonably asked for over 18 months but denied every time, then she told her company she was leaving. It took 10 minutes after she told her boss for this decision to be made!

The WINner who told her boss she was fed up waiting for the promotion that was held out as a carrot when she had joined the company 3 year prior and would join a competitor, found that miraculously, this promotion was agreed during an out-of-cycle meeting by the board, just to make sure she stayed.

I could go on, but I think you recognise the pattern. Once you see what’s happening, realise that you are in control of this situation.

And that you can actually help your boss. You’re forcing them to do the difficult thing. You’re making it easier for them to care in a world that’s set up for them not to.   

So here’s my advice if you’re finding yourself with an uncaring manager: go, create alternatives. Yes, that takes time and energy. Do it, anyway. And then start WINning: either finally getting at your current company what you deserve or in that new place.

Go, chicken. You’ve got this.   




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