You Get In Life What You Have The Courage To Ask For

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You Get In Life What You Have The Courage To Ask For

This quote speaks to me in so many ways.  And not just because it’s from Oprah Winfrey, my spirit animal (“You WIN, and you WIN, and you, and you!!”).

If my mind and most of my female friends’ minds are anything to go by, we assume that if we work hard, that hard work will be seen and recognised. “My boss will appreciate me for pulling all those all-nighters to finish the project in time and under budget, and he will give me that raise I have been due for so long.” “My partner will see what a struggle it is to work fulltime and do most of the housework, so surely he’ll offer to take the kids out on Sunday morning so I can finally have a lie in?”

Sounds familiar? I have thought all of these things at some point in my life. But we as women are expected to think of others first and foremost – we are not supposed to ask for ourselves. 

So we don’t.

But guess what? People are so caught up in their own lives and problems, they have no time or energy to spend on you. People don’t go around thinking of ways to meet your needs. 

It’s not that they don’t want to do it. They just don’t think about it.

Which means that if you don’t ask, you don’t get what you want, need and deserve. 

Which in turn means that you get frustrated, demotivated or even downright angry. At work, and at home. 

And then it’s not just you who suffers; the people around you do, too. Your boss because you don’t bring your A-game to work. Your hubby and kids because you are grumpy, tired and resentful.

So you need to speak up. You need to spell out what you need and want. And that takes some balls (or, erm, ovaries?). Because they could say no. Because they might think less of you, for needing help to keep all the balls in the air.

But I GUARANTEE you that plucking up the courage to ask for what you need and want will pay off in a huge way. And not just for you; the people around you will benefit too.

Seriously, even if you find it difficult to ask for yourself, do it anyway. Be clear about your needs and wants, and let them help you. You’ll be amazed how willing people are to get you what you need, if only they know what that is…

Let me know if you want to find out if we can help you overcome the obstacles on your way to career negotiation success. You can book a call with my team, here: