Stop kidding yourself

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Ladies, in our The Stories We Tell Ourselves #5, I need to give you a bit of a wake-up call. 

When you are not negotiating in the workplace for all that you need, want and deserve, you’re not just missing out on hundreds of thousands to millions of dollars over the course of your career (see my other pieces on that one, ha!).

Nope.

You’re missing out on so much more.

Let me start with one: RESPECT, from your boss.

You see, to get anything done anywhere, you need to get people behind you. So EVERY JOB INVOLVES NEGOTIATION. With your customers, with your co-workers, with your manager.

I am sure you’re good at that:

Many women are excellent negotiators when they do so on behalf of others, and only crumble when it comes to asking for themselves.

But if you don’t do that when you’re negotiating the terms of your role, or if you never ask for a raise, your boss most likely will pick up the message that you are not very good at it. And so they might not think you’re very good at your job.

What is more: from the research on this, we know that PEOPLE EQUATE VALUE WITH PRICE. When something is expensive, they will value it more than if it were a cheap item, in short. The same happens with our salaries. Our boss knows how much we earn. If that is less than our co-workers (because we didn’t negotiate, and they did), our boss will THINK LESS OF OUR WORK, regardless of its quality.

If this sounds super simplistic: this is how our brains are wired: life is complicated, our brains take shortcuts.

And so if you earn less than your peers, it doesn’t matter that we do better quality work – WE LOSE OUT ON RESPECT.

So please stop kidding yourself and think that you’re *just* missing out on (lots of) money when you don’t negotiate. Losing out on respect might be a bigger issue, career-wise.

And this connected to something else: CAREER OPPORTUNITIES. If you don’t engage in these crucial conversations at work promotions and stretch projects and all that good stuff.

Which in turn means you’re missing out on more money. And perhaps more importantly: this is probably not the vision you had for your career-path, leading to FRUSTRATION AND RESENTMENT.

You wouldn’t believe the number of women I speak to are considering quitting their roles because they don’t feel recognised for their hard work and results!

And there are other ways in which not negotiating your career negatively affects your life, but we’ll get to that some other time…

Wies Bratby.

Negotiation Coach, former top Lawyer and HR Director, and unapologetic advocate for women in my tribe getting what they want and what they are worth.

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