Stop Bragging About Yourself. Do This Instead.
Were you one of the 99% of people in this world who were taught that in order to get ahead in your career, you needed to “sell” yourself and your capacities? To prove that you can do the work, to share that and why you deserve the position?
If so, tell me also: was that super uncomfortable?
If you recognise this, I am sorry society screwed you over.
You see, as a girl, you were also told to not brag about yourself and your accomplishments. You should colour inside the lines and not bring attention to yourself. By making you big yourself up for promotions and in interview processes, effectively you were asked to do two things at the same time that are at complete odds with one another.
And you know the kicker? Ultimately, the other side doesn’t really care about you. They care much more about their own problems and challenges. So in the end, this bragging is… a bit pointless.
That may seem depressing, but I have found it’s actually quite helpful when it comes to career conversations.
Let me explain.
Knowing that your boss or future potential boss cares much more about themselves than they do about you means that you can stop talking about yourself. So you don’t need to brag!
But… but… but… if I am not supposed to brag, what else am I supposed to do to make the other side see how amazing I am, I hear you ask. I got you, so here’s what you do instead: you get wildly curious about them and what problems they are facing.
When you do this, not only will they feel heard and cared for – a very basic human need that people, unfortunately, don’t experience enough but that means that they like you a lot before you have said much. What will also happen is that- if you listen carefully, actively – you can then assess for yourself if you’re best placed to help them in solving those problems they are facing.
If that’s the case, all you need to do is explain why and – high level – how you can do that.
That’s using facts, that’s not bragging, and as such, much more palatable for you and for the other side.
In summary, my friend: Stop bragging. Start listening.
If you want my help in asking the right questions and to say the right things in the right way (and to the right people), ping me here. I specialise in teaching women how to have these career defining conversations and negotiations to get exactly the roles and salaries they want and deserve. The conversation framework I developed based on a decade of experience as an HR director and a lawyer, plus in-depth studies in the field, works. Every. Single. Time.
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