I’m Your Coach, Not Your Friend

Wow. That title sounds kind of harsh, doesn’t it?

But wait, come back – I love you!

Let me explain. It’s not you, it’s me.

I love my coaching groups and the wonderful women within them. They are amazing, and I know this from day one because I am super selective about who can take part in my coaching programmes with me. Not in a cliquey or an exclusive way AT ALL – but in a way where I will only accept women to work with me if I think we’ll get along famously. A great relationship – for example, the one between a coach and her clients – has to be based on the ability to absolutely get on well with each other in the first instance.

It’s a true sisterhood of love and support here at WIN, and so to ‘get into the WIN’ I always use the example of The Bar. Not the legal one, if you’re thinking I’m harking back to my lawyer days – I’m talking about an actual bar. One with drinks, and bartenders, and nuts (read into that what you will).

If I’m going to work with someone on one of my coaching programmes, I ask myself the question:

Could I hang out with this person for three hours at a bar and enjoy a good few glasses of wine with them?

If the answer to that question is ‘Hell, yeah!’ then this is a massive tick in the ‘would this person be a good fit for my coaching progamme’ box. We need to get on, because that’s an absolute foundation for me to be able to coach. If we can get along, then I can get you along to a place of realising how fabulous you are, and making sure that you’re working and earning in a position that truly reflects your skill, your ambition, and your power.

So, given all this talk of love, and hanging out, and good times, why would I then say we’re not friends?

Because, although we will indeed go on to become friends (I have no doubt), my role as a coach involves me doing things that your friends just would not do. Sometimes it’s because they don’t want to, but other times it’s because they actually can’t.

As your coach, I’ll make you have difficult conversations. We’ll dig deep and work on some real inner stuff that’s holding you back. I’ll hold your hand for sure (call the Covid Police), but I’ll be guiding you well outside of your comfort zone as I do it.

This is why I’m not your friend first. A friend (just like a family member, really), will want to do all they can to protect you in every sense of the word. I, on the other hand, want you to take some risks, break down some barriers, and set yourself some challenges.

Why? Because I know it’ll all massively pay off.

Literally.