Don’t Change Your Goal, Change Your Plan

You kick ass at your job. But you don’t get recognised for it. You don’t get the salary you should and you don’t get the respect you deserve. You didn’t get the promotion and it’s not looking like a raise is in the cards this year.

I hear you.

In my coaching practice, I speak to a lot of women like you. They are very good at what they do, and they have no trouble negotiating on behalf of their boss or their company, but they are afraid to ask for themselves. They lack the confidence to command that raise, that promotion, get on that high potential program.

And this goes on for years. And each year the gap between what they should earn and what they are actually earning, becomes wider. Every year, the difference between where they should be and where they are, becomes more obvious.

And then one day, they decide: enough is enough.

They do their homework and realise the extent of the problem. Their research tells them they’re underpaid by 20, 30, 50%.

And this realisation fuels their frustration and anger and they set an ambitious goal for themselves. They will get that raise and they won’t take no for an answer.

They don’t realise they’re setting themselves up for failure.

They’ve never negotiated a salary increase successfully before, but after reading a couple of Forbes articles, they think they know what to do.

But they don’t realise there will be bumps in the road. The manager that simply says “no” when he hears their request. The boss that doesn’t even accept their meeting invite when they hear the reason it is scheduled. The manager that tells them they can discuss that promotion next year.

And these kick ass and frustrated women?

Understandably, they are deflated.

“I tried”, they say, “My goals were just too big, my expectations too high.” And they accept the “no” or the measly salary increase, holding off that promotion. In short: they settle for less than they deserve.

And that is such a shame because there was nothing wrong with their goal. It was not too high! They had done their research properly and the data was clear.

There’s just something wrong with their plan. They haven’t asked in the right way. It turns out that reading a few articles is not enough to overcome decades of missed practice, of not building that negotiation muscle.

But this doesn’t mean you can’t learn this skill. It’s not rocket science.

So please ladies: when you face a situation where you want to negotiate your worth and it doesn’t go the way that you plan, please do not change your goal.

Change your plan.

Ps If you want help to build that negotiation muscle, check if I can help you by speaking with one of my coaches during a free coaching session: https://womeninnegotiation.org/apply

Book a call with my team for a free coaching session and let’s see what we can do for you!