Build The Relationship With Your Boss By Asking For A Raise

A while ago, I asked in my Facebook group what the No 1 thing was that was holding the members back from asking for a raise. The resounding answer with like 85% of the votes? Fear of damaging the relationship with their boss.

Having these types of career conversations, many seem to think, will negatively impact on the relationship they have built up with their boss. By asking for more money, more responsibilities or any other type of “favour”, will make them think of you as greedy (“HOW much do you want??”) and arrogant (“Who does she think she is that she is ready for this?”). Talking about your worth may make you emotional, and what is THAT going to do to their idea of you?!

So you don’t. You don’t even start the conversation, and during your annual appraisal (if you’re lucky enough to have those), you stay quiet when the pithy company-wide increase is announced.

But here’s the thing.

Forget about the money for just a second. What is worse than missing out on extra salary, is that by not having these kinds of career-defining conversations, you’re keeping yourself from having the career of your dreams.

Here’s what I see every day by speaking to women about their careers: doing great work but getting no recognition for it, can only continue for so long. Some people can do it for weeks, some for months, some even for years. But you WILL inherently end up resentful and unhappy at work (perhaps you already feel that way?).

And guess what happens when that is how you feel about your career? You don’t bring your best self to work. You don’t bring the energy, motivation and inspiration you – hopefully – once walked into the office with. Your brain is low-key occupied with frustration and resentment and that’s not a brain operating at full capacity.

Worst case scenario (which happens surprisingly often!) women actually give their bosses a reason NOT to pay them well or offer them promotions. Would you, if your employee didn’t do the best work they were capable of? What reason would you have?

And thus continues this cycle of unhappiness…

And you know what you need to do to turn the tide?

Have the damn conversation.

Yes, I know it’s scary. Yes, I know it’s difficult because you have little or no experience. Reframe it in your mind from a scary-ass “negotiation” to a “meaningful conversation”. Realise that the current downward spiral isn’t just hurting you; it’s also hurting the company.

They’re not getting your best, most inspired and engaged you, remember?

If you want to learn how to have these types of meaningful conversations with your manager, so you can have the career you’ve always dreamt of (including the appropriate salary), schedule a clarity call with one of my coaches: https://womeninnegotiation.org/apply

You’ll go through the block which are standing in the way of career success for you, and then see what steps you can take to move around those blocks.
They’re super helpful calls, free of charge, and you’ll get a ton of clarity about your options!

Book a call with my team for a free coaching session and let’s see what we can do for you!