Authenticity Above All

My client thanked me just now on our coaching call, for allowing her to show up as her whole self in the negotiation process she is currently involved in. She will be starting in a new role next month and is currently negotiating the remuneration package for it. 

“I was worried you’d have me use language that would make me seem tough, and I am not tough!” she said. “I am so relieved that the verbiage and strategy I have ready now is completely, one hundred percent ME, and yet like the best, most confident self of me!”

Well, duh. Of course it is 😊

Because here’s the thing: authenticity, showing up as YOU, is the ONLY thing that will work when you are in the process of securing a new role or a promotion and negotiating the accompanying package for it. 

Using language that doesn’t feel comfortable, behaving in a way that doesn’t feel aligned or altogether doing things that aren’t “you”, will NOT get you the results you want for two reasons:

1. You won’t do it. Simple. You won’t engage in the process because your discomfort from being inauthentic will stop you before you even started – THAT’s how unpleasant that feels.

1. Similarly, the other side WILL pick up on your discomfort. They will notice that incongruity and it will put them off you, quite frankly. 

So here’s my hot tip for you:

Whenever you are engaging in a career move – be it a new position, a promotion or a salary negotiation – make sure you are showing up as YOU!

Do not hide behind a tough exterior when that is not you. Likewise: don’t conform to typical gender expectations and show up “softer” if that doesn’t feel aligned either. 

Prepare language and behaviour (practice!) that feels comfortable and is going to powerfully get you what you deserve. It’s the only way, my darling. 

If you want help with that, get in touch and I will see if and how I can support you.