A lesson on love and ambition

Do you recognise this?

You’re excited because you have seen a very cool role advertised and you’re considering applying, and when you discuss it with your parents or partner, they don’t seem too happy about it. They say “Are you sure you want to chance it? Why would you leave where you are? The salary’s alright, it’s safe and secure.”

Or you’re having drinks with friends and when you tell them about the promotion you made, they joke you have changed and wonder if you will still want to hang out now that you’re “sooo important”.

My clients often share these kinds of stories with me. And it breaks my heart because although they know better, it still gets to them. The people they love and that love them, do not support them in their ambitions.

At a minimum, it takes away the joy and excitement they feel. At worst, it stops them from reaching for their career aspirations altogether.

My advice to them in such situations is always the same: take the love, leave the rest.

What I mean by that is the following. The messages from your family members or friends are coming from a place of love… and fear.

Love, as they want to protect you, the person they love. Going after your dreams inherently bring with it certain risks. Their wish to keep you safe translates into talking down the opportunity you’re excited about. So their negativity is really coming from the a good heart.

And it’s misguided.

Because the other source of that unhelpful message is their own fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of losing you, fear of how you will perceive them as you reach new heights. That’s the bit that’s not so good.

So, like I said: take the love, leave the rest. Celebrate that you have people in your life who love you and want to keep you safe. But please don’t let their stories, their limiting beliefs, their fears and concerns hold you back from the things that are meant for you. 

PS:

As always – if you want my help in achieving your dreams AND be surrounded by a sisterhood of women that are on exactly the same journey as you are in their careers and who will support you and cheer you on every step of the way, send me a message. Happy to see if my career and salary negotiation program can help you, too.